On Valentine’s Day, when love is all around us, Glen and David reflect on the strength of love in the face of multiple sclerosis (MS) in this guest blog. They tell us why a dear friend’s diagnosis of MS led them to take on the mighty marathon challenge...
After years trying to get a place for the Virgin Monday London Marathon, we have both secured a place to run the race on Sunday 28 April 2019, and we could not be more excited!
Our training is now underway and we have also joined the Prestwich Athletics Club to help us with our training. This year we are extremely proud to be supporting MS-UK who provide support to those awaiting a diagnosis for multiple sclerosis or for those already living with it. A charity like this is something that is very close to our hearts.
So why have we chosen this charity?
We moved onto our street in 2003 after taking a leap of faith in buying a new house in an area that we didn’t really know much about. Then, in 2004, a lovely young couple named Chris and Claire bought and moved into the house directly opposite to ours and right next door to our already great friends Helen and Jamie. We were all of similar ages and starting out with our grown up futures ahead of us. It wasn’t very long until we all struck up a great friendship and we started socialising together with dinner parties, drinks and silly karaoke discos!
We had formed an amazing triangle of trust between each couple and began making some truly brilliant memories. We were very lucky to have such fantastic neighbours that we could now call true friends. All of our futures were bright.
Soon after moving in, Chris and Claire got married. They had a beautiful wedding ceremony and celebrations in France. It was their perfect day and the start of their married bliss. Unfortunately, two weeks later their world was turned upside down and their future together took an unexpected turn after Claire was diagnosed as having multiple sclerosis. For a couple who were just starting out on their planned journey, their future was having to be rewritten.
Fast forward to 2019, and we can now look back and share what their journey has been so far…and how MS has affected Claire, Chris, their families and us as friends.
Anyone who is diagnosed with MS will soon learn that no two journeys are the same. The body is a wondrous thing, but how MS takes over it, is different for everyone. We had never had anyone close to us have MS, so this was all new to us all.
The text books say that MS is a chronic, typically progressive disease involving damage to the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. How was this diagnosis of Claire’s going to manifest itself? We have now seen first-hand that this disease can be debilitating. A bright, fit and healthy young lady with a fantastic future as a school teacher slowly had the carpet pulled from under her feet by the effects of MS taking over her body. The past 10 years have been a rollercoaster for Claire and Chris and everyone around them.
No matter how much fight you put up, the fatigue and progressive failing limbs can bring the strongest of people down. With that comes the black depressive days when you realise that your independence is ebbing away, you feel isolated and being a proud person is a blocker on accepting the support you may eventually need.
We have witnessed Claire’s battle with MS and her battle with herself. The ups and downs, highs and lows all followed. The pain, tiredness, frustration, sadness and steely determination not to be beaten. The intense pressure on both Claire and
Chris would have been a significant test on any relationship. Both have had to adapt to a life that neither of them planned for or ever wanted. Their love and strength for each other has been incredible.
Huge decisions had to be made on what their new future could be. Family and friends also had to adapt their lives to be able to offer love and support when needed and to take into account Claire’s capabilities, ensuring she was not being excluded. To watch your wife, daughter, sister or friend battle with something that you cannot physically help them with is cruel. How do you react? What can you ask or say? When is it appropriate to step in? No-one can teach you these things but you have to stay strong for that person and just wait until they are ready to let you in. Even in writing this piece we sought approval from Claire as she is still a very private person and contains her situation within those people very close to her.
Eventually realising their limits, Claire and Chris had to find another single level house where her mobility was not as exasperated. MS was preventing Claire to live a normal life by taking away her ability to be fully mobile. It was a very sad day for us all when they left their home opposite us to move into a house they had to choose because of Claire’s condition. Fortunately, they didn’t have to go too far, so we have maintained our fantastic friendships and memory making which we all do with joy!
Through receiving fantastic support from MS specialists and from the care services, Claire and Chris are now living much happier within the confines of what MS has done to her mobility. They have received some amazing treatment, adapted their home, lifestyle and accepted care that has been put in place to support them both. Whilst Claire is physically restricted, she is now embracing her life and extracting everything she possibly can with a beautiful smile on her face. Our triangle of trust is now stronger than ever, and the support network has expanded, with even more very special friends joining the fundraising team. Go #TeamPurple!
Since the times Claire was first diagnosed, there has been huge progress made on the support people can get from having an early diagnosis, improved medications and treatments and more research being done.
This is where MS-UK come into their own. The work they do is helping many people in the same situation as Claire and Chris. It is an amazing charity which does great things.
We are now looking to support them to raise awareness and make a difference to the amazing work that they do via our fundraising. We have a £2,000 target and need your help to reach it!
Many thanks for your support!
Glen & David xx
Visit Glen and David's JustGiving page