‘My dad has MS so I wrote my 37 year old self an emotional letter’

Rachel Higgins’s dad has multiple sclerosis (MS), so she decided to reflect and write herself a personal letter, reminding herself how far she’s come with her fundraising efforts and understanding of the condition.

A letter to my 37 year old self…

One day, you’re going to run the London Marathon for your dad.

You’re going to spend 11 months waking up at 5am and running through rain, snow, wind, storms and sunshine. Not much sunshine though, and that’ll take you by surprise on Marathon Day.

You’re going to invest in a proper programme, proper physio, proper trainers, and even upgrade your Primark running gear to something more fancy… Shein.

You’re going to have a gait analysis, download Strava and Runna, learn about the importance of strength training and fuelling, and start running in front of other people. Not only run in front of other people, but with other people. You’re going to find ‘your people’ – the people who bring out the best in you – and you’re never going to want to lose them.

You’re going to grow in confidence talking about Dad, talking about his life now and his life in the past, and you’re going to share that with others – especially on those emotional long runs.

You’re going to find joy in sharing something you’ve hidden for so long; from shame, from embarrassment, from worry. You’re going to celebrate Dad and his achievements, big and small.

You’re going to share the ups and downs with the internet, the world, your family, your friends and your colleagues. You’re going to be open, raw and honest. You’re going to talk about everything from wetting yourself, pooing yourself and what the consistency of gels reminds you of. You’re going to bond with people over the wildest things.

You are going to raise over £8,000 for MS-UK. The charity will set you a target of £2,400, but you won’t stop there. You’ll not only double it, you’ll almost triple it. You will keep going and going. You’ll inspire others to join your journey, run with you, and support your fundraising efforts.

You’re going to put yourself out there, step outside your comfort zone and host a huge event at Christmas that raises almost £2,000 – an evening that will blow your mind. You’ll bring 85 people together and hear nothing but joy around you.

You will meet the most beautiful people living with MS. You will be inspired by their stories and experiences, and they’ll remind you just how lucky you are.

You won’t influence your children to take up running, but that’s okay, because it took their mummy 37 years. What you will do is teach them about charity. You’ll talk more openly about Grandad’s illness. They’ll help you fundraise by selling loom bands, cakes and toys at car boot sales. You’ll teach them about resilience and show them that girls can do hard things.

You’re going to use your privilege to move, to run, and to have your victory lap.

And you’re going to cross that finish line at the TCS London Marathon 2026.

You’re going to do it for your Dad.

If you suspect that the symptoms you are experiencing may be due to MS, it is helpful for to be aware of the different conditions that share similar symptoms. Our Choices information booklet titled ‘Is it MS?’ offers a summary of these plus signposting to where you can find dedicated information and support.