Bladders and bowels – breaking the embarrassment barrier

Bladders, bowels and breaking the embarrassment barrier. Because only icons pee their pants, says New Pathways columnist,  Roxy Murray.

If you live with MS, you’ve either already done the panicked power walk to find the nearest toilet or you’ve already peed your pants.

Publicly.
Spectacularly.
Iconically.

That warm rush of embarrassment we feel although honestly, was it the shame or just the actual wee?

When our bodies don’t quite cooperate is something else. You can’t even put it into words properly. It’s frustrating, humbling, and at times downright mortifying.

But here’s the truth MS does not care.
Not about our plans, our timing, or the cute outfit we just put together!

MS messes with the nerves that control our bladder and bowels, which means signals from our brain are misfiring.

The result? Sudden urgency, constant trips to the loo, constipation, accidents… the full chaotic menu.

And yet we still ain’t talking about it?

Let’s be clear

We are not “less than” because our bodies sometimes misfire. We are humans, dealing with a complex neurological condition. And doing it daily, might I add, which takes a level of resilience most people couldn’t even begin to understand.

Also? It’s incredibly common with MS. You’re in very good (and very fabulous) company.

Taking Back Control

Okay, so we’ve all already established and are very much tuned that MS is going to do what it wants.

But there are ways to make life easier and these are my tips I use to feel more in control .

Planning ahead without obsessing has saved me. Knowing where the nearest toilets are before heading out? Has been a game changer. It gives me extra confidence and takes the edge off that low-level anxiety simmering in the background. Not to mention get yourself a radar key. I never go out without it!

Give yourself extra time. Leaving the house without a “just in case” wee (or poo) is a risk I no longer take. Learn from me.

Build a routine. Building a personal routine by assigning myself regular bathroom times has helped train my body to release when I need it and has been especially helpful for bowel management.

Keeping a trigger diary. Whether it’s caffeine, alcohol, or food. Each trigger is noted in my diary when they have worsened symptoms and urgency for me. This helps me to know what my limits are and what foods and things I can do at home or when I’m out and about.

Speak to the professionals
MS nurses, GPs, continence specialists they all exist for a reason. There are medications, pelvic floor therapies, and strategies that can genuinely help. You deserve peace of mind, don’t suffer in silence.

Build your day trip survival kit – it’s better to be prepared.

Mine? Spare underwear, water wipes, Tena pads, and on bold MS days spare trousers.
And no, this isn’t “giving in” to MS. This is all about being prepared, empowered, and refusing to let a bladder plot twist ruin your entire day. A quick 10-minute reset beats going home early, cutting your fun short.

The biggest weight isn’t always the symptom, it’s the shame we often feel in the vulnerable situations MS puts us in. But the more we talk about it, the less power that shame.

Because I promise you someone reading this is thinking:
‘I thought I was the only one.’

You’re not.
And neither am I.

We are a community of fun-loving, slightly chaotic, magical individuals and we deserve comfort, confidence, and peace of mind.

And if nothing else…
Remember:

Only icons pee their pants.

Xoxo,
Roxy xoxo

If you’d like to read more fun and honest stories from Roxy then why not consider a subscription to MS-UK magazine, New Pathways?