The theme for this year’s International Day of People with Disabilities is as unequivocal as it gets, ‘not all disabilities are visible’.
The message is not unique as anyone who is already aware of the Sunflower Lanyard scheme can confirm. But more than that, from a gradual decline in my own circumstances over the last year, I’ve noticed a change in the attitude I experience when I am out and about, and it is this. People are more aware. Kinder. And understanding.
Nowadays, my motor skills sometimes scrape the bottom of the multiple sclerosis (MS) barrel. Messages from the brain to my legs get embarrassingly confused and play merry hell with my centre of gravity. I have to confess that these days it is less than easy to walk a straight line without my feet taking me on a journey to the left or the right of the pavement, whether I want to go or not.
People still stare, sometimes. After all, it’s only human nature. But these days not in a way that makes me feel like I am an exhibit of P. T. Barnum’s circus. In restaurants or coffee shops my knees sometimes struggle to support my body weight when I try to rise from the table.
It’s not the most pleasant of experiences but it happens, of course, it does, but that’s when I endeavour to wrestle control over a situation where I have none at all. Because the MS is mine it’s up to me to reassure the crowd – and I do still have the ability to draw one – that everything is fine because this is not the first time it’s happened to me that day.
To carry an expectation – or even a grudge - against others for not understanding my sometimes muddled speech or incontinent thought process is not who I am. Or at least not anymore. Why make strangers feel uncomfortable? It’s nobody’s fault I have MS and I will tell whoever needs my reassurance that everything is under control. That everything is ‘cool’.
Being an MS blogger has put me in a position of MS privilege. I am at the coalface of disability activity. I am the embodiment of disability action. I no longer have the need to hide my disability behind my cabbage stalk walking stick. I wear my sunflower lanyard as a badge of honour.
I am Martin Baum. I am a proud MSer.
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