So in today’s blog I’m going to talk about something a little more serious and the topic is dealing with my hair falling out due to the chemotherapy.
At first I will say and as you can see from the video, it was a bit funny and humorous to me. But those are the magic words, “to me” and just me. The bigger picture is obviously that multiple sclerosis (MS) affects twice as many women as it does men, so for every one of me as a man, there are two women. As I was washing my hair this morning in the shower, there was a nice ring of my hair about my feet, which to be honest was something of a surprise and not a terribly pleasant experience. It did leave me with a curious feeling, thinking about other people that may not be approaching this in the same way that I am. I can see that a woman would be very proud of her hair, or a man for that matter, a lot of men can get uppity about losing their hair. Nature takes some men on a biological one-way trip and their hair just falls out anyway regardless of chemotherapy and that’s just life, there are plenty of strapping bald men out there.
I did actually feel my heart sink a little bit when I thought about people who are proud of their hair and spend a lot of money on it. It can define some people. This is not meant to sound like it’s a vanity thing because it just isn’t, but watching my hair falling out as I was washing it this morning left me with a small feeling of dread for myself. What if it doesn’t grow back? Which isn’t too bad, as I used to shave my head all the time anyway. But for those that don’t view this the same way as I do, it must be such a huge heavy heart sinking feeling. I can see how it might feel at this stage of the initial HSCT chemotherapy, almost like a point of no return, the hair is going to go. Writing this, it makes me feel more than a bit solemn when I think about the big picture and the many different people that this will involve.
One of the few things I can think of that may help in this situation is to have a good positive mental attitude. I don’t mean to sound patronising, but it can become such a strong powerful weapon to have in your little arsenal and that is what gets me through. Yeah, the hair is going right now, but just look to the future not so far away. You’re talking six months from now, which is a snap in our lifetimes really and isn’t really that long at all. We would have collectively come through the other side of the chemotherapy, and we shall be growing fresh new baby soft hair, colour back in our cheeks, a spring in our step and no MS.
Another positive view on this was one my wife brought up. She said this is my old MS hair and it’s been removed to make way for my new non-MS hair for the new non-MS me. It’s a very useful sentiment and one I will carry closely with me as I go through each stage of treatment.
No MS is what we need to focus on right here, right now as the collective, going through the chemotherapy to rid ourselves of the MS that we are all battling with. My eyes are firmly fixed on that, and as I have said before I want to run, probably not for the first few weeks or months, but I will run. We the collective MSers now have a way out of the previously never-ending inescapable tunnel that I personally could never see the end of. HSCT is a gift that few are blessed to receive, so losing our hair in the meantime is an insignificantly small price to pay for us to have our lives back, with or without limitations.
Scott has decided that he will shave his beloved beard off to raise money for MS-UK. Anyone who has been following his story will know how much his beard means to him, so if you would like to donate, visit his JustGiving page or Facebook fundraisier.
If you’ve been effected by the topic discussed in this blog, please contact the MS-UK Hepline on 0800 783 0518.