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How do you cope with MS?

hannah resized.pngResearch student Hannah Morris looks at how your coping strategy influences your quality of life when you have MS

Having a long-term condition is a lot to cope with, and as someone with multiple sclerosis (MS), this is something I’m very aware of. But often, how we go about coping and what style we use has a big influence on our overall quality of life.

What is coping?

Coping refers to an ongoing process of thoughts, emotions and behaviours relating to how a person deals with stressors. Different people use different coping methods in different situations, but ultimately the aim is to solve a problem and return to the original optimal functioning state.

The coping style we chose comes as a result of how we interpret a stressful situation to begin with. That is, we ask ourselves questions like

  • Do I have any control over the situation? If so, what can I control?
  • What has been my experience of this situation before?
  • Do I have the ability to manage the situation?
  • What resources can I draw upon to make things easier? 

These types of questions usually guide the coping strategy that we will follow through with.

What are the types of coping?

There are many different coping styles, but they can all be broadly divided into two types, problem-focused and emotion-focused.

Problem-focused coping. This type of coping aims to deal directly with the cause of the stressor in practical ways.

Examples of this include gathering information, seeking practical support, considering solutions, evaluating pros and cons and making plans.

The advantages of this approach are that it removes the stressor and deals with the root cause and, therefore, provides a long-term solution.

On the other hand, there are situations where a problem-focused approach is not possible. For example, with MS, there is little we can do to control many elements of the condition and therefore tackling the root cause is often not possible.

Emotion-focused coping. This type of coping is more reactive and seeks to manage and reduce the negative emotions felt as a result of the stressful situation rather than the problem itself. Some types of emotion-focused coping are helpful and others are not.

Examples of this type of coping include seeking emotional support, acceptance, cognitive restructuring, positive reinterpretation, psychological disengagement, distraction, or turning to drugs or alcohol.

The advantages of emotion-focused coping is that they are accessible when the source of stress is out of a person’s control.

However, emotion-focused coping has been linked to poorer psychological wellbeing in people with MS, perhaps as it doesn’t deal with the root cause of the problem or provide a long-term solution, especially in the case where the less helpful methods such as distraction and disengagement are used.

My coping methods

During my first relapse after diagnosis I relied heavily on the less helpful types of emotion-focused coping. Until this point, my MS was very much silent and I was convinced I probably just had clinically isolated syndrome. So some four years later I had noticed the bottoms of my feet going numb, but carried on with life trying to keep distracted and ignore the fact that the numbness was slowly creeping up to my thighs.

In denial, I hadn’t sought any help. I didn’t even tell my husband to begin with, but he became suspicious as this once invisible symptom was becoming more outwardly obvious. He encouraged me to call my MS nurse, so I did, but, of course, I played it all down. The consequences of this meant that when I finally accepted that I was having a relapse and I did have relapsing remitting MS, I had to go through the same experiences and it was like being diagnosed all over again. It felt like the world was caving in on me as I went through the process of acceptance all over again.

Over time, I’ve been able to use more helpful emotion-focused coping by focusing on the benefits of having MS (yes, there are some!). It strengthened my relationship with my husband and family, it’s given me a passion for the work I do, helping others like me, it’s given me a sense of empathy for people with disabilities generally, and it’s made me appreciate the good days and the blessings in my life. These are all experiences I would not have had without my diagnosis and have made it a lot easier to live with MS.

I’ve also found myself able to use more problem-focused approaches in recent times, too. Due to pregnancy, I’ve been off treatment for over a year now and I’m anxious that I am now vulnerable to relapse, as is usual post-partum for me. I know this is a reminder that I do have MS and there are times that I still struggle to accept that, but I also need to make a decision about treatment and have been comfortable enough to weigh up all my options, speak to my loved ones and my MS team about it and make an informed decision about what’s best for me.

What style are you?

How do you react to your MS? What is your first reaction when you experience a difficulty as a result of your MS?

1. Do you call a member of your MS team and seek practical support? Do you think about the possible ways you can deal with the situation? Do you consider what has and hasn’t worked before?

Or

2. Do you prefer to withdraw and stay alone? Distract yourself with other things? Find positives in the situation? Seek emotional support from friends and family?

If you answered yes to the questions in option one, then you are using problem-focused coping. If you answered yes to the questions in option two, then you are using emotion-focused coping. You might have even found yourself using a mixture of both.

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