In this guest blog, Chloe Metson talks about being a Mum and keeping up with her young children while coping with multiple sclerosis at the same time. You can check out her blog, Tantrums and Tingles, online today for more too!
Do you know what happened the other day? Well, I was lying in bed suffering from awful fatigue when I…gave up. I gave up the guilt and stopped fighting being ill. It felt strange, but somehow rather fabulous at the same time. Like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt myself embracing it.
I have two children of 5 and 20 months and as adorable as they are, since E (our youngest) came along I’ve been in a state of constantly trying to keep up. L (our oldest) is now at school which is a help, but having a toddler again when I’m that much older, and that much tubbier, and that much more unhealthy, it’s been a huge struggle. I was diagnosed with MS nearly 16 years ago, and I’ve suffered from at least one relapse a year, which isn’t too peachy when you’re trying to raise a family.
My world became all the more physically demanding once E started to walk, and more importantly, climb. The effort it takes to wrangle him on a day to day basis makes the mind boggle. This kid can cause chaos. But I try. I try my very hardest to keep up with him, which has meant living with MS now has become a case of fighting fires and frankly a logistical nightmare. I spend time with the kids – I’m shattered. I rest and therefore get to spend no time with my kids. I try to socialise…but then I feel guilty for being away from the kids and on top of that it tends to leave me fatigued. Do you see what I mean? How on earth do you please all people, and yourself with limited energy? So I gave up. It’s not going to happen.
For starters the guilt needs to go, so I’ve vowed that now I will take myself off to rest if I need it (obviously if there’s childcare!) without feeling guilty. My children want and need me to be happy and healthy, so taking time to rest properly is not just important, but vital.
I’ll also try and socialise without that guilt, because I’ve finally understood that in order to be happy I need to make sure my life is well-rounded. Socialising and just getting away from the house is just as important as resting in some ways, after all, it’s good for my mental health which should not be overlooked.
To say I’ve stopped caring is perhaps a bit much but it’s a relief to finally have that acceptance of how things actually are. I have MS which sucks, I’m also a Mum though which is the best thing I’ve ever done, and I do my best, which is all anyone can do.
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